You know, The Daily Prophet has a point. What sort of parent lets their children out, on a full moon, at night, with known werewolves at large, when the Minister has - wisely - announced a curfew? I know I care too much to let the children at Hogwarts out for fear of their safety, and they are not even mine. It seems to me almost tantamount to manslaughter.

I suppose we should have guessed that the protests wouldn't get violent until the pro-werewolf camp got involved.

I have some brilliant new ideas for lessons this year. I can't wait. And it's not like I have anything else to distract me. I wish I had a teacher like me when I was at school.

Death Eaters
Whew! I needed that. A nice bit of a run around. Now I want a cup of tea. Maybe some biscuits. Custard creams, I think.

Private
I have to entertain myself somehow, since no-one apparently wants to fuck me anymore.

Alecto
Are you sleeping with Lucius?

Death Eaters
Those tweenie things were fucking scary. I never want to be hit by a hex that turns me any of those colours.

Private
Alecto is being perfectly nice, and perfectly chaste. I wonder if she found an Italian lover or something, and that's why she's pining after the 'food' so much. Severus, meanwhile, is straight out avoiding me, I'm sure. Goddamnit! Why is no-one having sex with me? I wonder if Lucius would. It's been a long time.

Lucius
It's been too long since we spent any time together.

Lessons are over for another year. Have a lovely holiday, everyone, and I'll see most of you in September. I will be in my office most of today if you have any questions about extra reading for the holidays, or you just want to say goodbye to your favourite Dark Arts teacher.

Private
That is every night this week. Either he's suddenly decided he's in love with me, or our illustrious headmaster has something or somebody on his mind. I wonder if I should offer to dress up.

Well done, 5th and 7th years. I'm sure you've done varying degrees of brilliantly. In any case, you got through, so congratulations on that. It can't have been easy.

Did anyone get a fireman? I thought I had one but he turned out to be a stripper.

Why would someone risk themselves over a goblin?

Bye-bye, lovely students. I'll miss you. Have a nice Easter with lots of chocolate and bunnies and chicks and dead Jesus or something.

I knew Croatian muggles could be just as reasonable as ours with the right incentive.

Death Eaters
They're dropping like flies. Can't we come home yet?

Attention students!

I have a prize for whichever one of you can demonstrate the best Dark Curse for killing as many Croatians people as possible at once.

Death Eaters
We went with a little mirror-themed lesson today. I got them to practise bouncing spells off mirrors for when their angle is impaired. It was quite fun, although we may need a couple more tables now.

I'm bored. I need someone something to do.

Private
I can't believe I missed it. It's not fair. It's so stupid. And now I don't even know if she'll go out with me again. She doesn't seem angry, but you never know with birds. They like to hide stuff and pretend, which can be cute, or it can be frustrating. It depends. Stupid stupid Severus. He has no sense of humour or compassion or any lightness of heart at all. Everything's so damn serious all the time. Students, students, students is all he care about, even though they all hate him. At least some of them like me. And now I'm never going to get to be a model. And Alecto thought the idea was sooooo funny and Lucius was just cruel and mean as ever and they're all stupid. Everyone. And it's not fair. And it's stupid. And I want some Japanese food. Noodles or something. Maybe Udon.

Severus
I hate you. Just so you know.

Death Eaters who aren't Severus, Lucius, or Alecto
Noodles?

Private to Hogwarts Professors and Death Eaters
Can anyone cover my 3rd year lesson on Friday? It's at 2. I'll make it worth your while.

Lucius

( Not work safe )

Happy Birthday, Lucius. You know it's always yours anyway.

Everything's ready! The decorations are up and the food's out and the drinks on standby and recreational potions in the games room and now we just have to wait till it's time to start. I really love my mask and I wanted to put a picture in here of it but Alecto said that would ruin the surprise because people are supposed to see if they can recognise me with a mask on so instead here is a picture of our birthday cake.

( Cake! )